EPL Wire

Football News You Can Trust
EPL Wire
Navigation
  • Home
  • EPL News
  • Internationals
  • Europe
  • Football League
  • Contact Us
images (6)

Junk Food Peddlers Coca Cola & McDonald’s Slam FIFA Corruption

May 29, 2015 | Filed under: Internationals

Coca Cola and McDonald’s have slammed FIFA for farting in a proverbial elevator filled with the lies of global corporations. The major sponsors of football’s governing body are shaking like Michael J. Fox’s dick hand on his wedding night, after thirteen low life FIFA officials were arrested by colon fiddlers …

images (5)

LA Galaxy Cast Steven Gerrard In New Sitcom

March 22, 2015 | Filed under: epl news, Internationals

LA Galaxy has cast Steven Gerrard in a new sitcom featuring a trained monkey who can juggle and play the drums. The Los Angeles franchise informed Liverpool that the 34-year-old isn’t good enough to play in their embarrassing footballing backwater and his talents are better suited to the ratings driven world …

download (10)

Harry Redknapp’s Injured Knee Signs Book Deal

The injured knee of crumpled faced dog lover Harry Redknapp is set to release its own autobiography. The poorly body part, named …

images (7)

Mike Ashley To Use Wonga Loans To Fund Rangers Takeover

Overweight success story Mike Ashley has confirmed that he will use Wonga payday loans to fund his takeover of Rangers. The current Newcastle …

download (98)

Arsene Wenger Claims Squatter’s Rights At Arsenal

Giraffe humanoid and incompetent fuck up Arsene Wenger has claimed squatter’s rights at Arsenal’s Emirates stadium. The Frenchman marked his territory on …

images (44)

Ravel Morrison Has The Self Esteem Of An Overweight Goth

Dysfunctional waste of life Ravel Morrison has admitted that he is not a nice person after being questioned by police. The West …

images (36)

Wilshere “Getting Tattoos & Smoking, More Important Than Achieving Potential”

Miniature disappointment Jack Wilshere has confirmed that smoking and covering himself in tattoos is his main priority in life. The Arsenal fuck …

aa_jfk_fivex-large

Luis Suarez Linked To Kennedy Assassination

Convicted criminal and evil person Luis Suarez has refuted claims that he shot and killed President John F Kennedy. Infamous communist and …

wee-jimmy

Spain Actually Shit At Football

Former football favourites Spain have admitted that they were never actually that good at the sport they once dominated. Inadequate ball juggler Iker Casillas has …

images (20)

Tony Blair: “Rooney Shouldn’t Admit That He Played Badly”

Christian war criminal Tony Blair has insisted that Wayne Rooney’s poor performance against Italy has nothing to do with the current crisis …

Read all Articles →

Recent Comments

  • Roving Mick Pickup on Venky’s To Make Blackburn Player Out Of Meat
  • Roving Mick Pickup on Jack Rodwell Digs Escape Tunnel Out Of City
  • Afrz Sharmin on Cristiano Ronaldo Has An Incredibly Small Penis
  • Roving Mick Pickup on Jack Rodwell Digs Escape Tunnel Out Of City
  • kalkidan on Liverpool Write Steven Gerrard A Dear John Letter
  • Mark Hodge on David Moyes To Be Put Into Coma
  • Thomas Slattery on David Moyes To Be Put Into Coma
  • szdg on Russian Football Fans Unaware Of How Uneducated They Are
  • Mark Hodge on David Moyes To Convert United Heathens To Christianity
  • Jim Verner (missionary to Cambodia) on David Moyes To Convert United Heathens To Christianity

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Tags

alex ferguson andre villas-boas arsenal arsene wenger Barcelona BBC Brendan Rodgers Cardiff City champions league chelsea David Beckham david moyes England england captain England Manager EPL everton FA FIFA gareth bale harry redknapp Joe Kinnear john terry Jose Mourinho liverpool Luis Suarez manchester city manchester united Mike Ashley newcastle newcastle united PSG QPR real madrid Roy Hodgson Scotland sir alex ferguson Spain spurs Sunderland Tottenham Hotspur wayne rooney west ham world cup world cup 2014

Follow me on Twitter

My Tweets

Top Posts & Pages

  • Andrey Arshavin Was A Russian Spy

Archives

  • May 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • August 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013

Disclaimer

EPL Wire is a satirical news site. All the stories covered here are not true and are made up for the amusement of ourselves and others.

© 2019 EPL Wire

Powered by Esplanade Theme by One Designs and WordPress