Coca Cola and McDonald’s have slammed FIFA for farting in a proverbial elevator filled with the lies of global corporations. The major sponsors of football’s governing body are shaking like Michael J. Fox’s dick hand on his wedding night, after thirteen low life FIFA officials were arrested by colon fiddlers …
LA Galaxy has cast Steven Gerrard in a new sitcom featuring a trained monkey who can juggle and play the drums. The Los Angeles franchise informed Liverpool that the 34-year-old isn’t good enough to play in their embarrassing footballing backwater and his talents are better suited to the ratings driven world …
The injured knee of crumpled faced dog lover Harry Redknapp is set to release its own autobiography. The poorly body part, named …
Overweight success story Mike Ashley has confirmed that he will use Wonga payday loans to fund his takeover of Rangers. The current Newcastle …
Giraffe humanoid and incompetent fuck up Arsene Wenger has claimed squatter’s rights at Arsenal’s Emirates stadium. The Frenchman marked his territory on …
Dysfunctional waste of life Ravel Morrison has admitted that he is not a nice person after being questioned by police. The West …
Miniature disappointment Jack Wilshere has confirmed that smoking and covering himself in tattoos is his main priority in life. The Arsenal fuck …
Convicted criminal and evil person Luis Suarez has refuted claims that he shot and killed President John F Kennedy. Infamous communist and …
Former football favourites Spain have admitted that they were never actually that good at the sport they once dominated. Inadequate ball juggler Iker Casillas has …
Christian war criminal Tony Blair has insisted that Wayne Rooney’s poor performance against Italy has nothing to do with the current crisis …