Crumpled pensioner Roy Hodgson has confirmed he will pick deceased World Cup winner Bobby Moore for this summer’s tournament in Brazil. The England manager revealed that he will select big reputation players even if they are injured or even dead. He said: “Like many England managers before me, I have …
Inadequate time bomb Alan Pardew has insisted that physically assaulting people is just a normal part of working life. The Newcastle boss confirmed that his headbutt on Hull City’s David Meyler was a actually a good thing. He said: “I’ve had loads of these kinds of incidents through out my …
Spectacular loser David Moyes has insisted that there is an unhealthy emphasis on success within professional sport. The Manchester United boss revealed …
Second rate manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has revealed he would feel sorry for other managers if Cardiff beat them. The former Manchester …
Arsenal’s record £42-million signing Mesut Ozil is actually an imposter played by actor Lee McDonald. McDonald, who famously played loveable smack head …
Soon to be relegated Fulham have sacked their tea lady Dorris because “she didn’t fit the new philosophy of the club”. The …
Refereeing egotist Howard Webb has insisted that his predilection for wearing Manchester United pyjamas has no bearing on his ability to officiate. …
Chelsea alpha male Jose Mourinho has moved his entire first team squad into Channel 4 poverty pit Benefits Street. The former Porto …
Inept human David Moyes has been placed in a medically induced coma by a struck off doctor from Eastern Europe. A Manchester …
A devastated Arsene Wenger has been found walking around Liverpool with no trousers on. The Arsenal boss reportedly suffered a mental breakdown …