Convicted criminal and evil person Luis Suarez has refuted claims that he shot and killed President John F Kennedy. Infamous communist and womaniser Kennedy, who had to have his dick sedated around civilian females, was reportedly gunned down by Suarez for no reason. And despite the Uruguayan’s claims that he …
Former football favourites Spain have admitted that they were never actually that good at the sport they once dominated. Inadequate ball juggler Iker Casillas has confirmed that Tiki Taka was used to bore teams into submission and hide the fact that Barcelona players had compromised their principles by playing for a country which …
Christian war criminal Tony Blair has insisted that Wayne Rooney’s poor performance against Italy has nothing to do with the current crisis …
Muscle-bound show-off Cristiano Ronaldo has revealed that he was born with a micro-penis and has spent his entire life over compensating. The Real …
Following his foot in mouth performance on Question Time, functioning humanoid Joey Barton has engaged in an online debate with the nomadic …
Human tragedy David Moyes has admitted that he can’t get enough negative attention and now plans to join far right comedy outfit …
Ball kicking dynamo Gareth Bale is not actually a human being, according to a group of Vatican monks tasked with destroying him. …
Liverpool windbag Brendan Rodgers has accused title rivals Chelsea and Manchester City of being “soulless corporate fuck stains.” The 41-year-old boss delivered …
United spare part Phil Neville reportedly denied knowing managerial buffoon David Moyes three times while on a night out in Manchester. A …
Ego centric footballing genius Ronaldo was conceived after a blouse, acquired from an unnamed big girl, burst mid coitus, according to his …