Mohamed Al Fayed has expressed his delight at the prospect of falling out with new Fulham owner Shahid Khan.
The former Harrods boss is famed for his inability to forge long and lasting relationships with rational human beings.
But Al Fayed insists that it is a trait he had learned to embrace.
He said: ” It’s true, I have fallen out with everyone I have ever known.
“Mr Khan knows this, in fact, it was part of our agreement. In around a year’s time, I will accuse him of a crime that he has no connection with. Then he will take me to court and the merry dance will continue.
“I live for this type of thing.”
American billionaire Khan has confirmed that he knows Al Fayed has the mental capacity of a BSE infected cow pat.
He said: “Fulham is a great club. No one would dispute that.
“I knew that if I wanted to buy Fulham, I would have to come into contact with this Egyptian humanoid who is incapable of having a normal conversation.
“Luckily, the deal is done, so the biggest obstacle has been tackled.”