West Ham tyrant Sam Allardyce has been earmarked to play the next Doctor Who.
According to show sources, the BBC are impressed with Allardyce’s ability to send clubs back in time.
‘Big Sam’ is a strong believer in ‘kick and rush’, lumbering target men and repealing womens’ right to vote.
Special needs striker Andy Carroll has confirmed Allardyce’s worrying fascination with the long running show.
He said: “The boss loves Doctor Who. He regularly screams ‘exterminate’ at us while wearing over-sized scarves.
“It’s actually like having a history teacher with severe learning difficulties teach us how not to progress in our careers.”