Andrey Arshavin Was A Russian Spy

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(By Greg Thomson)

Leaked NSA documents have revealed that former Arsenal player, Andrey Arshavin, was actually a Russian Spy.

Arshavin, code-name ‘Red Fox’, was the brainchild of Kremlin chief Sergei Rachmaninoff, who funded his agent’s training as a footballer, and pulled strings to include him in the Zenit St. Petersburg team.

As a result of these revelations, the Russian International has now retreated back to his homeland, and is reportedly worried about his safety.

There are also suspicions that Arshavin’s rumored move to Barcelona, around the time of his Arsenal transfer, was in fact dis-information created by Moscow, used to further sell Red Fox’s cover story to the Brits.

Arsenal fans will remember the forward’s injury spells, however it is now thought that this was merely a ploy to allow the agent more time to gather valuable intelligence in and around the nation’s capital.

British Intelligence are also liaising with the French Secret Service as they try to ascertain whether or not Arsene Wenger was a part of the Ruskies’ plot.

It has also been confirmed that fellow Russians, Roman Pavlyuchenko and Pavel Pogrebnyak, are fellow Kremlin spies, sent to England in the hope of assisting Arshavin’s espionage, and ultimately, aiding in his escape.