LETS be honest, Andy Carroll is the best thing since sliced bread. He makes Wayne Rooney look like a League Two standard striker. His immaculate ball control and prolific scoring record makes him a dream striker for any manager.
Former Geordie legend Alan Shearer is clearly impressed with Carroll’s talents, saying: “Andy Carroll is the best striker in the world, I wish I was as good as him when I was playing.”
Carroll is on the verge of securing a move to world footballing powerhouse, West Ham United. To secure a permanent move to such a decorated club is a testament to Carroll’s talents, but he may be in for a shock when he realises what his new manager has in store for him next season.
Sam Allardyce was quoted saying: “I have secured the purchase of Andy Carroll because I want to convert my side into a rugby team next season. I have brought enough 6-foot-plus players with no ball skills that the Aviva Premiership may accept our application to switch codes this time.”
It was clear that Andy Carroll was destined for greatness. Liverpool spent £35 million on the player, a record for an Englishman. It soon transpired that Carroll was too good for the Reds and was loaned out last season so he wouldn’t be held back.
Brendan Rodgers, Liverpool boss, said: “As soon as I saw Carroll on the training pitch, I knew he was a world class player. I had to let him leave though because I didn’t want to get in the way of achieving what we all know he can. West Ham are the best club in the world and that’s where the best players should be.”
There’s no doubt that when Carroll retires, he will be remembered as a footballing icon. Enormous, over-sized statues of him will be erected all over the country.
Take note, as we are watching the rise of a footballer with the grace of Messi, the promiscuity of Pele and the intellectual power of Diego Maradona.