McDonald, who famously played loveable smack head Zammo in Grange Hill, has sensationally outed himself after missing a penalty against Bayern Munich.
According to McDonald, he was approached by Real Madrid about the scam, which is potentially the biggest scandal in club football since Gareth Southgate played Mrs Doyle in the second series of Father Ted.
In an exclusive interview with EPLwire, McDonald confirmed he was made an offer he couldn’t refuse.
He said: “Since leaving Grange Hill, I’ve been mostly sat in my house staring at the uniform that I used to wear to work everyday.
“So when Real Madrid phoned me and asked I wanted to play Ozil in a scandal which could threaten the fabric of European football…I said ‘alright then’.”
He added: “Am I proud of what I have done? Well I scored two against Norwich, but apart from that, no of course not.
“I wish I could give back all the money, go home and watch DVDs of Hill, especially the episodes with me and Roland in them, they were the fucking business.”
A representative of Arsenal has confirmed they are not investigating the scandal.
“Ideally we would like know where the real Ozil is – although because we specialise in not achieving anything, we think it’s best not to take the matter any further.
“We would like to thank Zammo for all his efforts in training, especially his derby performance against Spurs.”