The Arsenal boss reportedly suffered a mental breakdown after his side had their back door kicked in by the Anfield club.
A police spokesperson confirmed Wenger was found crying with a single tear hanging from his nose.
“Mr Wenger looked like a homeless person who was unaware of the fantastic support available to people in his situation.
“We wrapped him in a big blanket and then threw him into a piss stained police cell head first.
“I would urge his family and Arsenal supporters not to worry, he has been unconsciousness through out most of the beatings and much of the injury he suffered has been internal.”
A source within Arsenal revealed that when Liverpool police throw Wenger out into the street like a piece of stinking human trash, he will resume his duties at the club.
The source said: “Arsene’s role is crucial in the club not fulfilling its potential.
“In fact it’s vital that he is there, so the players can look at him and think ‘right, we’re not good enough’, or something along those lines, obviously I am paraphrasing a bit. Basically the guy’s a fucking loser – you can quote me on that.”