Current boss David Moyes has all the respect of a backbench politician and is expected to be fired before the end of the season.
Now semi-illiterate Chief Exec Ed Woodward is intent on landing Anchorman character Tamland.
He said: “We know of Brick and are now trying to pin him down for an interview.
“What we liked about him was that he is stupid and doesn’t exist in real life.”
There is mounting pressure on United to take manager Moyes aside and tell him to fuck off.
However, a source within the Old Trafford club revealed that there is currently a plot to remove the brain of chief exec Woodward and kick it against a wall.
The source said: “Ed Woodward has the brain capacity of a dead person, who has been raped and killed by a wild animal, possibly a North American bear.”