AFTER weeks of speculation, Gus Poyet was relieved of his duties as Brighton manager during an on-air broadcast on the BBC.
But, one question remains; why did it take so long for Brighton to do what football fans knew would happen a month ago?
As it turns out, the answer comes in the method of delivery. In a radical carbon cutting scheme, Brighton have ditched all their computers and phones and have really brought their communications devices back to basics, with the use of pigeon mail.
With all the unrest about o-zones and cutting carbon usage, Brighton are the first to pioneer into alternative communication systems.
Chairman Tony Bloom is excited to be the first to venture into such a project, but admitted tweaks needed to be made.
He said: “We are happy to announce that we will no longer be using e-mail and texts systems to prevent a worldwide meltdown and the inevitable apocalypse that comes with it.
“If you can look past the copious amounts of pigeon poo, then people will accept that this is the way forward.
He added: “We actually sent the message three weeks ago, but the pigeon in question took longer than we hoped due to a combination of getting lost and distracted by the huge amounts of rubbish in Brighton.”
However, Poyet was less impressed with the way in which his sacking was delivered.
“I stay away from the club for one month, and they have already turned the place into a shithouse, metaphorically and literally.”
It’s too soon to say whether or not this revolutionary concept will take off, so to speak. But credit for Brighton for trying to get a use out of the giant flying rats that plague our country.