The former soccer superstar said he is excited by the prospect of shaving his legs and squeezing into a sports bra.
He said: “This is something I have always wanted to do. Victoria has offered to design all my outfits, which I’m delighted about. It’s great that the family are on board as well.”
Of course, for years now, pundits have debated what exactly a man of David’s limited mental capacity could do when he finally hangs up his boots.
There were suggestions that he could double as a mannequin dummy or even take part in simple childrens’ games for the amusement of wealthy spectators.
But, now that he has his wife by his side, dressing and feeding him, there seems to be no obstacles preventing him from joining the all female sport.
Ladies tennis, once dominated by drug fuelled transsexual cyborgs, has now been transformed into the sporting equivalent of a pillow fight in the playboy mansion.
However, the 38-year-old male insisted that he is under no illusion about making the tough transition from footballing god to jobbing female tennis player.
He said: “Look, I’ve been used to hitting a ball with my feet. So making the leap to using my hands is going to be difficult. But, I’m sure with the right amount of grit and determination, coupled with regular estrogen injections, I can dominate this fabled sport.”