This mammal inspired lockdown follows revelations that England manager Roy Hodgson, told a story involving a monkey, which it transpires is no longer acceptable within the fluid and ever-changing parameters of modern acceptability.
A spokesmen for the FA confirmed that the organisation is afraid to speak and risk offending someone who might have a deaf or mute relative.
He said: “The whole Football Association is decked out like a crime scene, with plastic sheets covering the walls, with men and women…of all sexes, religions and races, talking very seriously about an incident nobody really understands.
“It’s a very tense time.”
Asked what the FA chiefs are actually discussing, the spokesman responded: “They keep dancing around the actual topic, because no one wants to offend anyone. That would be really bad.
“Ironically, there is a proverbial elephant in the room, except this time, it’s a monkey.”
Subsequent to the spokesman’s statement, the poor bastard was then arrested for breaking the ban on animal related vernacular. It is understood that the family of John Merrick, the Victorian era deformity also known as the Elephant Man, have been sent an apology.