The ape like forward, who grooms himself and others around him, backed the England manager to survive the space monkey scandal.
He said: “Since when did looking or acting like a monkey have negative connotations? I take offence at people taking a fence, especially when it involves a gate, which has a monkey on it.”
These baffling comments further prove that Bale has transcended the term moron, and should be knighted for his services to the mentally challenged.
There have already been reports in Spain, that the Real Madrid player was found reading a children’s book upside down, when he was supposed to be taking a penalty for his side.
A source close to Bale, confirmed that the Welshman is proud of looking like an ape.
“Gareth believes that the Planet of the Apes film franchise is one big documentary. He also once pulled out his own hair, and glued it to his face, and then ran around his village naked.
“The local police had to dart gun him in the face. Then just to be sure, they went round his grandparents house and dart gunned their genitalia, to cut off the mental genes at the source.”
Dear valued readers, do you give a fuck about monkey gate?