Carcinogenic food advocate Gary Lineker has confirmed he is happy to continue criticising England because he wants them to fail.
He said: “Since I helped the national side get to one World Cup semi-final, I have the right to act like a billy big bollocks.
“Of course, for any other major footballing nation that would be a non-achievement, but for a bunch of losers like England, it’s like going for a walk on the fucking moon
“Some of these England players have won the Champions League, but they have never experienced a semi playing against a bunch of Germans in tight shorts.”
Cuddly national boss Roy Hodgson has hit back at the former goal mouth saint, contending that England will underperform with or without his input.
He said: “Putting on that white England shirt and underperforming at major tournaments is a right of passage for these youngsters.
“I’m not going to stand back while Gary attempts to ruin that dream, that mystery of why we are so shit at the game we popularised and gave to the world.
“Underperforming is what gets me up in the morning. That, and a coffee enema administered by my Nigerian home help Benedict.”