Out of his depth FA Chairman Greg Dyke has sensationally called for more inadequate English players in the Premier League.
This announcement follows Dyke’s controversial decision to hire a hitman to headbutt former England womens’ coach Hope Powell.
But, the former Director General of the BBC insists he is happy with his performance so far.
He said: “I believe having more crap English lads, who drink lager everyday and shag anonymous strangers on nights out, will enhance the overall performance of the national side.
“And with regards to the Hope Powell incident; it was one solid head butt, not a barrage, like some of the papers claimed.”
Since the formation of the Premier League, England has seen an influx of talented and educated foreign players who have delighted fans with their skills and dedication to the sanctity of marriage.
But a source within the FA, confirmed bossy fucknut Dyke wants a return to traditional English values.
“Greg loves reading about how Britain used to invade economically inferior countries and ravage then with slave labour and indiscriminate beatings and buggery.
“That’s what Greg wants to aim for in future; lots of slavery and the sweet, sweet buggery of foreign people.”