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You are here: Home › epl news › Hammers Publish Opus ‘Defending For Dummies’
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Hammers Publish Opus ‘Defending For Dummies’

January 9, 2014 | Filed under: epl news and tagged with: bad defending, Defending For Dummies, east london club, poor form, sam allardyce, the hammers, Tim Henman, west ham
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West Ham release Defending for DummiesEast London laughing stock West Ham United has released a book chronicling their non-existent defending.

The opus, titled Defending For Dummies, details the proud history of a club who are routinely beaten harder than a North Korean women whose husband has a gambling problem.

Hammers boss Big Sam Allardyce confirmed he cried when he first pretended to read the book.

He said: “It took four brave men to write this book. It’s a bit like the Bible except everything in here is true.

“My favourite parts are where we get relegated. That’s what defines this club now; failure.

“Imagine the footballing equivalent of Tim Henman; now remove the grass court skills and that nifty drop shot of his…and the Middle England sex appeal…and his dogged determination… that’s us right there.”

Book Defending For Dummies compares West Ham To Tim Henman

Tim Henman has no idea why he has been mentioned in this article

Tennis ace Henman was asked to respond to this comparison.

However, the vanilla flavoured perennial semi-finalist admitted he doesn’t follow football.

He said: “I have tried to watch football many times but always seem to end up organising my cardigan collection, which I also  use to asphyxiate myself with.”

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Written by Mark Hodge

Mark is the publisher, editor and media friendly face of EPL Wire. Not that you can see his face, but trust me, it is friendly and in no way disfigured.

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