The former Fulham boss insisted that inform players, such as Adam Johnson, don’t stand a chance against ageing embarrassments such as Lampard and Gerrard.
He said: “There is a certain romance about old players who didn’t achieve anything, while playing for England, in their prime.
“And because Gerrard, Lampard and Cole are household names, I will pick them ahead of younger better players because I’m a shit manager who isn’t equipped to do his job properly.”
Governing fiasco FIFA recently asked England why they keep bothering to turn up at tournaments when they clearly have no intention of even performing at them.
A spokesperson for FIFA confirmed England are a joke and are about as funny as a clown’s abortion.
“It is fascinating to watch England panic over which hotel they are staying at or whether the players’ wives are coming or not.
“Is it like watching a victim of domestic abuse get the dinner ready, even thought they are going to have it mashed into their face by an unforgiving spouse. While this is not funny, it is utterly compelling.”