Punditry inadequate Jamie Redknapp has openly declared his belief in overweight child enthusiast Santa Claus.
Redknapp, who has the mental age of a 9-year-old, was visibly shaken when he was told Father Christmas only exists inside the minds of white children who live within western democracies.
A Sky Sports source confirmed that the former Liverpool midfielder prays to Santa everyday of his stupid life.
He said: “Jamie is totally devoted to Santa and is often fully erect when he prays.
“Unfortunately, there is no known psychiatrist in the world who can help someone this stupid. The guy’s a fucking retard.”
Sky have also denied rumours that Redknapp ran outside crying hysterically in the pouring rain, shouting ‘SANTA’ at the top of his voice.
The source added: “If Jamie wasn’t the good looking son of a football manager he would probably be working in a travelling circus pulling off elephants for very little remuneration.”