Newcastle owner Mike Ashley and his Director Of Football Joe Kinnear have been unmasked as the duo behind Daft Punk.
The pair were approached while discussing transfer targets, and why you never see white dog poo anymore, in a Yates pub in the North East of England by music executives.
The record bosses were desperate for a replacement for the original French couple who had tragically disappeared up their own behinds.
But the ruse came to light during a DJ gig in Paris when Ashley turned up with a record box full of last season’s stock from Sports Direct.
It was confirmed when a blurry black and white video image was leaked onto Twitter showing the pair bicker over who was in charge.
Newcastle players were said to have known for years. Matters came to a head when Kinnear kept getting former striker Nile Ranger mixed up with legendary guitarist Nile Rodgers.