Morally corrupt footballer John Terry is to be taught the difference between right and wrong.
A special charity, which deals mainly with loan sharks, golf hustlers and city traders, will take the Chelsea captain on a two week course, covering the moral teachings of Gandhi and Jesus Christ.
A spokesperson for the group confirmed that the West London club had initiated the therapy.
“Mr Terry still believes that the world evolves around him and his important work; heading and kicking a leather ball.
“Chelsea felt it was important he learns that when he hurts someone else, they suffer, just like he does when he is prevented from shagging other peoples’ wives, kneeing players in the back or using racist or offensive language.
“Of course these are simple things that most people learn in adolescence.
“Unfortunately, Mr Terry has not. This is probably due to his limited mental functions and his genetic predisposition to being a horrible person.”
The former England captain’s agent has revealed that Terry is not yet aware of the true nature of the therapy.
He said: “John would never go to something like this voluntarily.
“Getting taught stuff like ‘right and wrong’ just sounds like it would involve reading or writing, and John’s never learned to do that either.
“What he does know is how to head and kick things like footballs and people, and that has made him a very rich and successful man.”