Despite luring the Real Madrid coach back to West London, the Russian bogey man insists he will sack the ‘special one’ regardless of results.
He said: “No matter what happens, I will get rid of him.
“But, I am still excited to welcome him back as an interim coach.”
In 2004, former Porto manager Mourinho famously arrived at Chelsea in a blaze of glory, wiping out his rivals with tactical master strokes and lots of cheating.
However, billionaire oligarch Abramovich still decided to wield the axe simply because he has a small penis and was threatened by the girth of Portuguese’s trophy haul.
Unfortunately, for the Chelsea supremo, Mourinho then plundered the rest of Europe, picking up major titles like they were raunchy seaside postcards.
A source close to the two time Champions League winner, revealed that he is attracted to returning to Chelsea because of the money and an internal need to cry every morning.
“Jose loves having something to complain about. So going back to work for Roman is perfect for him. He knows it will end in disaster.”