Austrian sex offending champion Josef Fritzl has expressed his love for morally ambiguous football club Chelsea.
Speaking from his prison cell, Fritzl, who spends his days totally nude with his face pressed up against a wall, confirmed his admiration for the West London club.
He said: “The first time I saw Chelsea play, I had goose bumps all over my fat body.
“They have a brutish captain who has no respect for anyone but himself and the penis which guides him through life.
“I thought, this is my team. This is my life now.”
A source within Fritzl’s prison revealed Chelsea have a calming effect on prisoner’s diseased mind.
“When Chelsea are on, his cell becomes like a church, in which he worships something that is inherently wrong and bigger than himself.
“He also likes to watch Grand Designs and Sylvester Stallone movies while dry humping his bed like a rapid dog.”