The major sponsors of football’s governing body are shaking like Michael J. Fox’s dick hand on his wedding night, after thirteen low life FIFA officials were arrested by colon fiddlers the FBI, who specialise in phone tapping illiterate foreigners, before drop kicking their brains out in rooms which have no windows.
Indeed, corporations who sell products which directly kill fat uneducated people all over the world care deeply about their image – even if their brands command as much respect as day old dog shit which has been picked apart by a curious pigeon who doesn’t eat the bread at the local park because he’s a fucking moron who likes the taste of labrador jobby.
A spokesman for McDonald’s confirmed that the corruption and lies perpetrated by FIFA and its chief Sepp Blatter is even more disgusting that the farm yard waste they dare to call food stuffs.
He said: “We are deeply concerned that FIFA’s corrupt practices have been exposed and are now distancing ourselves from the organisation until such time when they can buy their way out this particular shit storm.
“And while we no longer support Mr Blatter’s position as commander and chief, let us take this opportunity to introduce a great new burger we have in our summer range – it’s called the McBig Boy, which can be used as an edible murder weapon or as a mobile home for the worms which could potentially grow inside your brain.
“I say potentially, because that probably won’t happen. Probably.”