The Los Angeles franchise informed Liverpool that the 34-year-old isn’t good enough to play in their embarrassing footballing backwater and his talents are better suited to the ratings driven world of situation comedy.
Gerard has not successfully completed a pass since 2009 and currently works in a Costa Coffee while his Liverpool team mates train at the sport he used to be good at.
LA Galaxy has released a statement insisting that despite the former England Captain’s obvious comedic abilities – they couldn’t care whether he lives or dies.
“We signed Steven after he was recommended by a television exec who produced the cartoon network’s coverage of 9/11.
“Now after seeing he doesn’t have any soccer ability and can’t speak English properly – we’ve decided to give him his own TV show which is a cross between Tarzan and Dallas.”
Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers has confirmed that he has happy with Gerrard’s new career path.
He said: “We’re all delighted for Stevie, he’s a a crap footballer and a mediocre human being – so I think the vacuous world of prime time TV is where he belongs.”