Former Manchester United gargoyle Luke Chadwick is set to appear in his own Star Wars film.
A spokesperson for Disney revealed that the inbred waster’s unfortunate countenance, gangly legs and hunched back, are exactly the kind of freakish specifications required for this particular role.
“When George Lucas saw footage of Luke playing for United many years ago, he knew instantly that he wanted to build a franchise around his ugly face.
“We at Disney want to follow George’s vision; and that vision involves a spotty humanoid with good hustle and bucked teeth.”
A source close to fucktard Chadwick, confirmed he is nervous about appearing on screen.
“Luke hasn’t been allowed on an aeroplane for years. The authorities always say he is a flight risk and then take him into a back room where he is physically taken apart for no reason.”