MANCHESTER United have wasted little time ringing the changes since appointing David Moyes in May. The most startling is the complete over-haul of the scouting department.
Instead of relying on Moyes‘s inability to judge players, United are looking develop an unhealthy interest in Jose Mourinho, Chelsea and their transfer targets.
A perfect example is goal-getter and money grubber, Edinson Cavani, a shoe in to go to Chelsea over the last month, is now being linked with the Old Trafford club.
Reliable sources suggest it’s because the board believe Moyes to be a joke human being and have veritable hard-on for Jose.
In fact, outgoing United director David Gill confirmed the club’s infatuation with the ex-Porto narcissist.
He said: “When we knew Sir Alex was leaving, we wanted to bring in Jose Mourinho to replace him. With his heart set on Chelsea, we decided to go crazy and appoint this two-bob coach David Moyes.
“Due to our lack of trust in Moyes, we didn’t want him bringing in his own players, so we decided to sack all of our scouts and only go after the players that Mourinho has an interest in.”
Indeed, Moyes showing all the confidence of a spotty teenager, welcomed the move admitting he contemplates suicide on a daily basis.
He said: “I think the board are right. I have signed just as many flops as I have good players and I don’t feel I should be trusted.
“Mourinho is a better coach than me, and I welcome Chelsea’s input regarding who we will eventually sign this summer.”