The Man City boremonger, who sleeps standing up in a house with no furniture in it, insisted he has always intended to break into the camp and annoying world of Broadway.
He said: “I like the fact that most musicals are shit and are designed for people who have no taste. They are the artistic equivalent of an over-seasoned microwaved breakfast meal which homeless people would eat if they were not drug addicted morons.
“People always accuse me of having no personality……that is all…. I have stopped talking, thank you for your patience.”
A source within the City dressing room confirmed that the players would rather count their money than listen to Pellegrini or see their children on a regular basis.
“The few players who have the ability to listen to another person talk without drooling, find the manager more boring than watching a library worker reading a Salman Rushdie novel while listening to the drummer from Coldplay being interviewed about his cardigans.”