The Frenchman made the claims while talking about his futile attempts to curb the big spending of Europe’s mega rich.
And, despite implementing new fair play regulations, Platini admits he may have to resort to locking people up for tax evasion.
He said: “ I have always admired Eliot Ness. And, I feel, considering my level of ineffectiveness on an international scale, he would respect me also.
“The fact is the top clubs in Europe don’t play by the rules. So, I’m going to have to put boots on the street to try and tackle this problem, which I have no real understanding of.”
A source close to Manchester City owner Sheikh Mansour, who is Al Capone to Platini’s do-gooder, revealed he has no respect for the incorruptible.
“Like anyone who has inherited their wealth, the Sheik has an unhealthy disdain for anyone who has to work for money.
“Of course, Mr Platini cannot be bought off like his FIFA counterparts, but we have other methods of ending his existence.”
But, the former France captain insists he will not be scared off by empty threats, and is intent on emulating his idol Ness.
He said: “After my work in football is done, just like my Untouchables hero, I plan to unsuccessfully run for mayor of Cleveland before dying of a massive heart attack, hypocritically drinking myself silly in a bar filled with degenerates.”