This season, the Manchester United boss has demonstrated he couldn’t manage a fun run for kids with ADHD whose hobbies including running, speed walking and charity events.
Everton owner Bill Kenwright has laughed at the prospect of Moyes returning to his old job.
He said: “David’s a joke person, like one of those fake tanned reality tv personalities who have big teeth and very little understanding of anything outside their own narrow existence.
“I don’t actually think he’s qualified for the job anymore. I mean we are pushing for champions league and silverware. How is Moyes ever going to give us that? We might as well ask a woman to be manager.”
The clearly open minded Kenwright was speaking from a phone box powered by the ambition of street hustlers and heroin addicted fuck jockeys.
He added: “I do all my business out in the street…it’s the only life I know.”