Non-lethal time bomb Paolo Di Canio is totally unaware he is about to be sacked, according to a source within club Sunderland.
The Wearside dictator, who has been described as a cross between John McEnroe and the Anti-Christ, punches himself in the face every morning instead of having a coffee and a shower.
Now, after a dismal start to the season, footballing non-entity Sunderland are set to wield the axe on the angry embarrassment.
The club source said: “When the team lose a game, Paolo lies down on the dressing room floor and methodically kicks his own head in.
“After he regains consciousness, he spits in the face of the tea lady and screams for the mother who never loved him.
“The club are sick of his childish antics and plan to take him to the park one day and leave him there without ever coming back.”
A spokesperson for the idiotic Italian, revealed unresolved issues from his childhood, have resulted in him developing into a narcissistic prick, who pleasures himself in front of a mirror; dressed as Little Bo Peep while listening to Enya.
“Paolo is actually a very regimented person.
“In order to fall asleep, he lies in bed and screams for two hours straight, before his high powered anti-psychotics kick in.
“He is then left alone with his nightmares, which he says make Hell look like a dance around a fucking Maypole.”