The scheme is part of the nouveau rich West London club’s mission to make as many mistakes as humanly possible.
Owner Tony Fernandes revealed he is excited about becoming the worst owner of any company ever.
He said: “Obviously, most London clubs who have lots of money tend to do very well. So we thought we would be the first to actively mess everything up on purpose.
“We are pleased to be relegated and now have many over-paid, under-motivated players on the wage bill. The next step is to spend all the money we have left on the opposition teams, meaning they will be stronger than us next season.”
Manager Harry Redknapp confirmed that Fernandes has his full support.
He said: “When I first arrived, I couldn’t believe what the owner was saying. But, when I raised my concerns Tony doubled my wages and gave me a bonus for losing games.
“You can’t really argue with that, can you?”