The West London club have been out pricing their supporters for years, while serving them up the footballing equivalent of a burst colostomy bag.
A spokesmen for the club explained their innovative approach.
“We plan to take the club and transform it into something that no one can relate to.
“Our hope is that lots of Japanese and American tourists, who have little knowledge of the sport, will enjoy the inadequate spectacle that we will serve up.”
Manager Harry Redknapp confirmed he is behind the scheme.
He said: “Of course fans are going to be unhappy.
“But they have to realise that this isn’t their club anymore.
“The life that they once knew was a lie, and now it has been taken away from them.
“There is nothing in life that is more important than money; nothing!”