Promiscuous Manchester United winger Ryan Giggs intends to conduct an elaborate extra-marital affair with new manager David Moyes, according to an unreliable source.
This shocking news comes just hours after the former Wales home wrecker was made player/coach by boss Moyes.
But, a source close to Giggs has revealed that the Scotsman’s family will not be given any special treatment.
“It doesn’t matter who you are, if Ryan wants, he will take you to a hotel room once a week, and perform missionary until he is satisfied.
“Ryan doesn’t expect the outside world to understand. People don’t know how difficult it is to be rich, famous, sexually active and prone to bouts of boredom brought on by a lack of intelligence, self awareness and inability to emphasise with other people.
“Humping people in hotel rooms and speaking to lawyers about it is just a part of his life. He isn’t proud of it, he doesn’t have the mental capacity to be able to think about it.
“He just does it. And god bless him for it.”
A United spokesperson released this statement:
“Manchester United is a modern club. If two highly paid members of the coaching staff want to engage in a physical relationship and then cover it up from the press, capitalising on the unbalanced and antiquated legal system, that’s up to them.
“The Neville brothers have been doing it for years.”