Sky Sports News presenter Jim White has sensationally called in a team of joiners to board up the Scottish Transfer Window.
Scotsman White has become increasingly frustrated at what he sees as a drop in the standard of the window North of the border.
He said: “When you look at the Window in Scotland it’s like walking through one of those rough housing estates where only one family, Celtic, has proper see through windows and everybody else has those horrible grey metal ones.
“Compare that to down in England, well that’s like looking through double French doors opening onto a wooden decking area with patio heaters, a gas barbeque and everything.”
White denied his decision to call in the joiners was a snub to his homeland.
He added: “I’m a proud Scot, but it is embarrassing when one minute I tell the viewers that Manchester United has spent £25-million on Van Persie, and then five minutes later I exclusively reveal that Greenock Morton has signed Joe Bloggs from Albion Rovers for a set of tracksuits and a £20 Marks and Spencer voucher.”
White’s decision has the full backing of Uefa president Michel Platini, who released this statement.
“The transfer window ees Jeem White’s baby and Uefa has no concern what happens een a country like Scotland.
“As long as the work carried out boarding up The Scottish Window ees paid for by Mastercard, official sponsors of the Uefa Champions League, I see no problem.”