FIFA President Sepp Blatter has announced his intentions to build a giant space station between Earth and Mars.
‘Darth Blatter’ confirmed he is looking to create a FIFA headquarters out in the infinities of space, and make the international football association the ultimate superpower.
He said: “I feel that FIFA doesn’t have enough control.
“By building the Blatt Star it will give FIFA control over the entire world and leave the human race at my mercy.
“I want to enslave the whole of humanity.”
Such radically ambitious plans have been met with strong criticism from almost every human being on the planet.
However, Blatter has been quick to quash any potential backlash, warning that any protesters “will be the first to feel my wrath.”
If this was not controversial enough the indelible Swiss dictator went on to reveal future ambitions for total galactic domination.
“The hope is to have the ability to obliterate entire planets from all over the galaxy.
“One day the universe will fear the name Sepp Blatter.”
The project is to be funded by money taken from various anti-racism charities such as Kick It Out and Show Racism the Red Card.
Despite the magnitude of the project, Blatter has hired the services Bryan Stubbs, a self employed handy man from Coventry.
When asked how he felt about the job, the amiable Stubbs expressed a mixture of shock and delight at the news.
He said: “I’m surprised. It’s a pretty big job so I’ve had to put a few other bits on hold for now.
“The main issues are that I’ve got to find my own transport up there and back, as well as building materials and tools for that matter.”
Construction is expected to begin immediately with Blatter aiming for the galactic headquarters to be completed by September of this year, somehow.
The existing FIFA headquarters in Zurich is to be converted into a private recording studio for Blatter’s own personal use.