Sinister impresario Simon Cowell has joined forces with delinquent hero David Beckham for a new talent show aimed at people who read tabloid newspapers.
Pleb Factor, which will be presented by Beckham, will centre on attention-seeking tattooed young people who have double barrelled surnames and can barely speak their own language.
Professional dickhead Cowell believes this formulaic drivel will be a hit amongst the huddled masses, some of whom are racist without being aware of the social and economic reasons behind their prejudice.
He said: “Pleb Factor follows the same format as my other shows, except this time we have Beckham.
“David won’t say or do anything. However, we do plan to play sentimental music while he stands next to mentally unstable teens who are performing on the show to try and emulate the destructive and vacuous lifestyle that David and I peddle.”
A spokesperson for Beckham released a statement indicating that the former England captain was unable to articulate thoughts himself.
“The only TV programmes David watches are Simon’s, because they cater for the lowest common denominator.
“He loves seeing people with little talent being exploited in front of the nation.”