Former football favourites Spain have admitted that they were never actually that good at the sport they once dominated.
Inadequate ball juggler Iker Casillas has confirmed that Tiki Taka was used to bore teams into submission and hide the fact that Barcelona players had compromised their principles by playing for a country which waged a veritable apartheid upon Catalonia.
He said: “In Euro 2008, we decided to only make short passes to each other as a symbol of our lack of ambition and confidence in our own ability.
“Of course we did not expect the other teams to become mesmerised by such a simple conceit, but they did and it has now been six years before another team realised that our players have the aerial ability of wee Jimmy Krankie.”
In fact it has since been revealed that Scottish comedienne and ginger fuck unit Janette Tough, aka Jimmy Krankie, has been operating as Spain’s defensive coach and masseuse since the 1970s.
However, the Krankies actress confirmed that it was only until 2008 that she had been given a more senior coaching role.
She said: “Before Tiki Taka I was pretty much the team’s glove puppet, but now I’m much more involved in every area of the coaching set up.
“In fact, there’s now even talk of me replacing Fernando Torres up front”
Stay tuned to find out whether champion gammie giver Jimmy Krankie will lead the line for World Champions Spain as they take on Chile in a crunch World Cup encounter.