Soon to be relegated Fulham have sacked their tea lady Dorris because “she didn’t fit the new philosophy of the club”. The West London calamity also revealed that the pensioner had been fired via carrier pigeon. New owner Shahid Khan confirmed that he only has a passing interest in the …
West London misfire Fulham have announced plans to erect a Jimmy Savile statue in tribute to the fallen broadcaster. A source within the delinquent club confirmed the monument will be a replacement for the recent Michael Jackson monstrosity. The source said: “The club haven’t consulted the fans or watched the …
(By Sam Hogbin) Fulham manager Martin Jol has revealed he is slowly losing his mind since the departure of midfielder Clint Dempsey. It is believed that the overweight Dutchman is harbouring a deep and unyielding love for the Tottenham player, resulting in unbearable outbursts of romantic gestures towards the 30-years …
(By Mark Hodge) Mohamed Al Fayed has expressed his delight at the prospect of falling out with new Fulham owner Shahid Khan. The former Harrods boss is famed for his inability to forge long and lasting relationships with rational human beings. But Al Fayed insists that it is a trait …
MARK Hughes insists he will under perform at new club Stoke. After his disastrous reign at West London outfit QPR, the former Wales striker believes he is the right man to disappoint the fans. He said: “I really feel like I have the tools to be unsuccessful here too. Of …