In an astonishing move the currently unattached defender Titus Bramble has announced his intention to move into coaching and open a footballing centre of excellence.
The Titus Bramble Academy of Footballing Excellence, which will directly rival the FA’s recently unveiled St George’s Park National Football Centre in Burton upon Trent, is to be opened at the end of the month.
Children of all ages will be invited to enlist at the academy, with coaches aiming to help kids emulate the success of the former Sunderland and Newcastle stopper.
Classes will include ‘how to boot the ball into row Z when under no pressure at all’, ‘how to under-hit a backpass to your goalkeeper’ and ‘how to fall over your own feet with a striker breathing down your neck’.
Bramble was typically modest at the press conference announcing the plans.
He said: “Most people will see me head the ball into my own net, or pass the ball to an opposition player, and think it is luck or chance. But it’s not, it takes years of hard work and dedication to be that bad.
“That’s what I want to communicate to these kids. It’s not enough to just dream of playing for relegation fodder your entire life, you have to get up and do something about it.”
Bramble is believed to have enlisted the help of former teammate Paul McShane, who will be a specialist coach in ‘how to run out of play with the ball instead of crossing it’.
It is still unclear how much the centre will cost to build, but Bramble, a well-known philanthropist, has confirmed that he will be footing the entire bill.
He said:“I’m just glad I can give something back.”