Broadcaster BT Sport, who have the life expectancy of a humorless alcoholic, have tried to deflect attention from the scandal by taping Michael Owen having a danger wank.
A source has confirmed that the organisation is almost certainly fucked.
The source said: “Obviously, normal people don’t go horse riding, so most of us had no idea this could happen. Clare comes from a posh family who like whipping animals while sitting on their backs.
“We never knew that could lead to MI6 knocking down our door and punching fuck out of any media studies graduate who dared to look them in the eye.”
Asked why Michael Owen had been tied to a bed, the source responded: “Some quick thinking intern suggested we film a clean cut presenter pumping for power while turning his gas off.
“Of course, with Michael’s boring persona, the very worst that could happen is that we appear edgy and cool, while he loses everything he was worked for in his life, including his job, family and self respect.”