The news comes after a series of match fixing incidents involving moronic lower league players.
However, Rooney has now revealed that he regularly gets paid money for playing professional football.
He said: “Until all this talk of getting paid to get booked and stuff, I thought everyone got paid extra for playing.
“I would now like to come clean…for years now I have been paid lots of money for playing football. They even give me extra for scoring and stuff.”
Head of Manchester Metropolitan Police, Sir Henry Busybody, confirmed that the England star’s claims will be investigated.
He said: “We the police are in the business of throwing our weight around and making ourselves look good.
“So even though Mr Rooney can not be arrested for being stupid, we will work tirelessly to implicate him in something else.
“It makes us look like we are doing something….even though we’re not….because we are made up of people who couldn’t decide what they wanted to do with their lives….and ended up being horrible bastards who terrorise the people they are supposed to protect.”