Wayne Rooney Sittin’ In The Dock Of The Bay
(By Scott Campbell)
FIRBRAND Manchester United star, Wayne Rooney, whose future at Old Trafford has been the source of much speculation, was today reported to be, “just sittin’ in the dock of the bay, watchin’ the tide roll away.”
Witnesses described the 27 year old as, “sittin’ in the dock of the bay, wasting time.”
The striker has been linked with a move to French financial behemoths Paris Saint-Germain, though there is not thought to have been any official contact with United.
When approached for comment, Rooney confirmed, “looks like nothing’s gonna change; everything remains the same.”
“I can’t do what ten people tell me to do; so I guess I’ll remain the same…”
Some Premier League clubs have similarly been linked with the want-away striker, with Chelsea and Arsenal thought to be Rooney’s most likely destination should he opt to continue to ply his trade in England.
Gunners boss, Arsene Wenger recently claimed that “any club in the world,” would be interested in signing the Merseyside-born goalscorer.
When asked if he would consider leaving United for another English club, Rooney clarified that he was currently, “sittin’ here restin’ my bones; and this loneliness won’t leave me alone.”
The frontman has been rated at around £25million, though any prospect of a bidding war for the unsettled player would likely see this valuation increase.
Rooney would only say of his price tag, “it’s two thousand miles I’ve roamed, just to make this dock my home.”
The married, father-of-two signed for Manchester United from Everton as an 18 year old for a fee of £25.6million – still a record for the highest fee paid for a player under twenty.
When questioned if he could still see himself spending the rest of his career in Manchester, Rooney would only say of his current situation that, “now, I’m just gonna sit in the dock of the bay, watching the tide roll away.”
“Ooo-weee, sittin’ in the dock of the bay, wastin’ time.”
As news broke that ‘top sources’ at Barcelona claim to be interested the player capped eighty-three times for England, Rooney was reported to be whistling whilst staring off into the distance.
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