Arsene Wenger has launched an astonishing £20-million bid for Manchester United adulterer Ryan Giggs.
The soon-to-be fired Arsenal boss insists the 39-year-old midfielder is ready to leave the only club he has ever played for.
He said: “We have always like the player, especially in the 1990s when he was at his peak.
“And, considering he has been at United for so long, he must be ready for a new challenge.”
This shocking incident further proves that Wenger is showing early signs of dementia, which in many countries such as China, or in Nazi Germany, would signal his removal from the planet.
But, an Arsenal spokesperson confirmed that the fragmented club are struggling to sack the Frenchman, even though he has gradually become a toilet trained human Labrador.
“The manager’s decision making skills are now similar to a humanoid from The Apprentice, who gets sacked in the first week.
“Most days he just stands at the confectionery machine in the canteen, unable to decide whether he wants a Twix or a gun to end his own worthless existence.
“There are members of the board who want him fired and placed into the care of medical professionals. It seems like that is only a matter of time now.”